New Directions Counseling Group
150 S. Washington St. Suite 303
Falls Church, VA 22046
newdirectionscounseling150@gmail.com
(P) 703.462.8644
(F) 703.462.9121
Sexual Addiction Services
SA Group Individual Counseling
The Men's Sexual Addiction Group meets on a weekly basis and the focus is on working in the workbook "Facing the Shadows" by Patrick Carnes, Ph.d
It will help you understand your addictive cycle and how you can begin to change.
During the group sessions, we will be addressing such issues as:
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The Cycle of Addiction Self-Care
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Shame and Guilt Relapse Prevention
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Accountability Father Wounds
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Family of Origin Forgiveness
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And more
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Intensive Program will be starting soon.
In individual therapy, or counseling, my focus is to help you with the problems you are facing today. The issues that bring you to counseling can be solved in a safe & totally confidential environment. I want to help you establish or reestablish your life as a thriving, healthy individual. As an LPC, Licensed Professional Counselor, I am a recognized expert in addictions and have been credentialed as an addiction specialist since 1991.
The first step is to help you identify what you want to accomplish…and then develop a plan to meet your goals. We explore your patterns, your fears, and begin to see you fulfill your goals and grow beyond the old negative behaviors from your past.
Articles & Resources
Understanindg Sexusl Addiction
Thomas Lamp focuses on helping individuals and couples seeking to break free from compulsive sexual behavior including:
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Pornography, Prostitution, Bikini Barista Stands, Webcaming, Flirting, Erotic Massage, Voyeurism,
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Sexual chat, Sexting, Social Media, Cybersex and Internet addiction
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Serial sexual and emotional affairs
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Sexual Anorexia and other unwanted sexual behaviors
Thomas also works with client family members and spouses to bridge understanding and healing wherepossible and work towards reconciliation when timing and circumstance permit.
All groups are focused on materials from Patrick Carnes Ph.D, author of Out of The Shadows and founder of IITAP who is the leading trainer of sexual addiction specialist in the country.
The 10 Symptoms of Sex Addiction:
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Loss of Control. A pattern of not being able to resist impulses to engage in sexual behaviors. You may be aware of saying to yourself “I won’t… I won’t… I won’t” then suddenly finding yourself doing the very thing that you hate and wondering how you got there.
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Compulsiveness. Engaging in behaviors more often and more easily even when they are contrary to your values and must be kept undercover.
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Efforts to Stop that Fail. Repeated efforts and promises to stop don’t last. You find yourself ensnared again in old patterns of behavior and feeling more desperate and out-of-control with each failure. Even efforts to cut back are unsuccessful.
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Loss of Time. The time invested seems to continually increase. A few minutes stretches into hours. A weekend gets lost staring at the computer screen producing a porn hangover requiring even more time for recovery.
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Preoccupation. Sex addicts become so intent on escaping reality that they begin to see and make sexual connections through normal daily events and routines. Everything seems to trigger them to want to act out.
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Lack of Follow-Through. Sexually acting out can be so compelling that time meant for other interests, obligations and activities gets lost. Promises made are often broken, deadlines go unmet, bills are paid late, being late or a “no-show” becomes routine.
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Escalation. When the amount of time, level of risk, or variety of behaviors needs to be continually increasing to achieve the desired effect.
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Continuing Despite Consequences. When the negative consequences of acting out cease to be a deterrent there is cause for great concern. Loss of finances, job, relationships, self-respect, or physical issues such as contracting STD’s, are indications of our inability to learn from our past unhealthy choices.
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Isolation. Giving up or scaling back social, occupational, or recreational activities so that there is more time to indulge in sexual acting-out, or other numbing behaviors like video games, TV, movies, etc.
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Withdrawal. Significant levels of anxiety, restlessness, or irritability can manifest when there is no opportunity to act out.
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Credit: Men’s sexual addiction screening test By Patrick Carnes, Ph.D. and Robert Weiss, LCSW, CAS
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Note: Pornography Addiction is a form of Sex Addiction
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1. Were you sexually abused as a child or adolescent?
Yes No -
2. Have you subscribed or regularly purchased/rented sexually explicit magazines or videos?
Yes No -
3. Did your parents have trouble with their sexual or romantic behaviors?
Yes No -
4. Do you often find yourself preoccupied with sexual thoughts?
Yes No -
5. Has your use of phone sex lines, computer sex lines etc. exceeded your ability to pay for these services?
Yes No -
6. Does your significant other(s), friends, or family ever worry or complain about your sexual behavior? (not related to sexual orientation)
Yes No -
7. Do you have trouble stopping your sexual behavior when you know it is inappropriate and/or dangerous to your health?
Yes No -
8. Has your involvement with pornography, phone sex, computer board sex, etc. become greater than your intimate contacts with romantic partners?
Yes No -
9. Do you keep the extent or nature of your sexual activities hidden from your friends and/or partners? (not related to sexual orientation)
Yes No -
10. Do you look forward to events with friends or family being over so that you can go out to have sex?
Yes No -
11. Do you visit sexual bath houses, sex clubs and/or video bookstores as a regular part of your sexual activity?
Yes No -
12. Do you believe that anonymous or casual sex has kept you from having more long term intimate relationships or from reaching other personal goals?
Yes No -
13. Do you have trouble maintaining intimate relationships once the “sexual newness” of the person has worn off?
Yes No -
14. Do your sexual encounters place you in danger of arrest for lewd conduct or public indecency?
Yes No -
15. Are you HIV positive, yet continue to engage in risky or unsafe sexual behavior?
Yes No -
16. Has anyone ever been hurt emotionally by events related to your sexual behavior, e.g. lying to partner or friends, not showing up for event/appointment due to sexual liaisons, etc., (not related to sexual orientation)?
Yes No -
17. Have you ever been approached, charged, arrested by the police, security, etc. due to sexual activity in a public place?
Yes No -
18. Have you ever been sexual with a minor?
Yes No -
19. When you have sex, do you feel depressed afterwards?
Yes No -
20. Have you made repeated promises to yourself to change some form of your sexual activity only to break them later? (not related to sexual orientation)
Yes No -
21. Have your sexual activities interfered with some aspect of your professional or personal life, e.g. unable to perform at work, loss of relationship? (not related to sexual orientation)
Yes No -
22. Have you engaged in unsafe or “risky” sexual practices even though you knew it could cause you harm?
Yes No -
23. Have you ever paid for sex?
Yes No -
24. Have you ever had sex with someone just because you were feeling aroused and later felt ashamed or regretted it?
Yes No -
25. Have you ever cruised public restrooms, rest areas and/or parks looking for sexual encounters with strangers?
Yes No -
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Your Result
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1 – 3 “yes” responses may indicate an area of concern and should be openly discussed with a clinician.
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4 – 6 positive answers would indicate a possible problem with sexual addiction, leading to consideration of a clinical evaluation and possible treatment such as group or individual therapy.
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6 or More “yes” responses clearly describe a problem with potentially self abusive and/or dangerous consequences. Should seriously consider treatment with a counselor trained in the area of sexual addiction.